Ever pointed the TV remote at your significant other and hit the off button? Ever wished they made a remote for just such an event? Well wish no more. With the Control Your Man Or Woman faux-remotes from the Baron Bob website you can now have some fun at your mates expense, or maybe yours depending on their temperament. Just press the appropriate button and the remote will say a funny phrase that’s clever and funny and liable to result in many lonely nights.

For example, the Control Your Man says things like: ?Time to listen!?, ?What about my needs??, and ?Whoa, ever hear of foreplay?? while the Control Your Woman speaks of things like ?Feed me!?, ?Hand over the credit cards?, and ?Yeah baby, do that again?.

For those thinking your prayers have been answered beware, the remote don’t really work in this reality although they might in yours and they can be had for $17.95 a piece or $29.95 for both. I’m thinking these would make great gag gifts as well.

via: Slash Gear

Here’s a gadget that is sure to get you a few less lonely nights in front of the old game console. Ever wonder how on teevee the geek always manages to end up with the really hot girl? You just thought it was because at some point they grew up and got tired of the overbearing jocks who only looked at them as a trophy or piece of meat and wanted a more “sensitive” and “understanding” kind of guy. Hell no, it’s geek gadgets dude. The Star Trek Activated Light Switch and Dimmer is just what every geeks needs and it’s guaranteed to impress the hell out of your soon to be psychopathic girlfriend. Seriously!

via: RedFerret

WD-40 is the all purpose spray so remember what they say, you only need two things to do any job. Duct tape and WD-40. If it turns and it’s not supposed to, use duct tape. If it doesn’t turn and it’s supposed to, use WD-40.

Break in the new baseball glove - Forget sitting on the new baseball glove for weeks waiting on the new leather to soften up. Rub it down with WD-40 then put a baseball in the palm and fold it sideways. Tie the glove tight and let it sit overnight. The leather will loosen and help it fit your hand better.

Clean Carpet Stains - Every household has this problem. Don’t waste tons of money on those fancy cleaners, just run to the garage and grab the WD-40. Spray, scrub and rinse.

Clean oil spots from the driveway - The next time your beer drinking friends bring over their rattle traps that leak oil all over your concrete drive. Give’em a can of WD-40 and tell’em to clean up their mess.

Degrease your hands - Eve been caught in one of those situations where you grabbed something greasy or oily and didn’t have degreaser handy to get it off. WD-40 an fix that too, just spray on your hands, rub them together like soap and rinse.

Free stuck fingers from a bottle - Much like the problem with a stuck ring, a little WD-40 around the rim, let it sit for a few minutes and the finger slips right out.

Insect Repellant - Ever gotten to the woods and realized you forgot the bug spray? Never fear, just coat yourself in WD-40 and the bugs will avoid you like the plague.

Prevent Wasps from building nests - Remember, it doubles as a sting medicine so you can piss them off and remove the pain all in one spray.

Relieve Arthritis - Getting old is a bitch sometimes, the bones ache all the time. Some old timers swear that you can help relieve the symptoms of Arthritis by rubbing your joints with WD-40.

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According to some research somewhere, people that obsessively drink caffeine are 30% more likely to develop depression and anxiety and 20% more susceptible to panic disorders as compared to those that don’t drink caffeine regularly. This explains why everybody around me looks like zombies all the time. Apparently, if your a super caffeine junkie, drinking something like 5 8oz cups of coffee, 8 cans of Red Bulls or 20 cans of soda) the risk is even greater. I guess it means that in a few years the world will be without programmers too because between the Mountain Dew and Red Bull they’re all surely going to die.

Seriously though, I know someone that goes through at least 6 sometimes maybe 8 cans of Red Bull everyday.

via: Viruz.com