All Posts Tagged With: "Humor"
Remote Controls To Control Your Man Or Woman
Ever pointed the TV remote at your significant other and hit the off button? Ever wished they made a remote for just such an event? Well wish no more. With the Control Your Man Or Woman faux-remotes from the Baron Bob website you can now have some fun at your mates expense, or maybe yours depending on their temperament. Just press the appropriate button and the remote will say a funny phrase that’s clever and funny and liable to result in many lonely nights.
For example, the Control Your Man says things like: ?Time to listen!?, ?What about my needs??, and ?Whoa, ever hear of foreplay?? while the Control Your Woman speaks of things like ?Feed me!?, ?Hand over the credit cards?, and ?Yeah baby, do that again?.
For those thinking your prayers have been answered beware, the remote don’t really work in this reality although they might in yours and they can be had for $17.95 a piece or $29.95 for both. I’m thinking these would make great gag gifts as well.
via: Slash Gear
Flameless Rechargable USB Lighter
Now here’s an interesting concept product. The Flameless Rechargable USB Lighter replaces traditional lighter fluid with a battery and uses resistance coils to generate heat. The USB port doubles as (get this, a USB port) and the flame end of the lighter. Not only does it light your cancer sticks, you can store files on it as well. I can see it now, a couple of dudes were sitting around their apartment, drunk off their ass playing Doom when one grabbed the USB thumb drive and tried to light a smoke with it. His buddy, after snorting a couple times and laughing says something like “Dude, a USB lighter would be Kool” and the rest is history.
via: Zedomax
Spice Up Cubeville With The Butt Crack Buddy Picture Frame
I’m always on the lookout for cool things to spruce up the cube or something that will needlessly torment my coworkers and/or cause them to just stop an stare. The Butt Crack Buddy is just such a thing, it’s cute and it’s odd and guaranteed to make people stop an stare. I mean seriously, what will people wonder when the pass by your cube and see a picture of your husband, wife, kids or dog in a frame being held between the butt cheeks of a guy popping a squat? It’s classic and it’s cool and I want one. Butt Crack Buddy will spread his cheeks for a mere $15.
via: Gizmodiva
Australian Barmaid Fined For Boob Crushing Beer Cans
Now here’s something you don’t see everyday. Luana De Faveri, 31, a barmaid in a Western Australian hotel was fined $1000 for “crushing beer cans between her bare breasts”. Apparently crushing beer cans with ones boobs is against the Liquor Control Act in Australia and not only was the crusher fined, but another barmaid was fined $500 for assisting her and the hotel manager was fined $1000 for not stopping the mamtastic show.
Geesh, and I thought it was just us morally repressed Americans that were uptight about this kind of stuff. There’s even a website been setup to help free the Aussie Barmaids boobs.
via: The Register
Spice Up Cubeville With The Office Space Box Of Flair
Here’s a classic must have for anyone living in Cubeville. If you saw the movie Office Space then you know what I’m talking about, if you didn’t well, then your probably some sappy manager that’s in debt up to your eyeballs and clueless about the fact the people that work for you think your a major tool and this whole post will be completely lost on you. I digress…. It’s all about the flair and you can’t work here if you don’t have flair so pick up this handy box of Office Space Flair and never again fear getting the dreaded lecture about not being a team player.
With this little kit, you’ll get fifteen flair buttons printed with fun sayings and designs. Such classics as I can set the building on fire; I dream of doing nothing; Did you get the memo?; Drew making his “O Face;” and even a picture of Brian, the man with flair. You also get a 32-page book that recalls the many hilarious moments in the film, while further explaining the buttons connections with the movie. With the Office Space Box of Flair, you?ll always be prepared to ?express yourself.?
via: Coolest Gadgets
How To Get Screwed By The Digg Gods
Everybody knows the reputation Digg has for banning sites. A quick search in Google for the term “banned by Digg” gives you tons of people that have been castrated by the Internet demi-gods. Much like Adsense bannings, everybody is innocent and did no wrong, whether that’s true or not is a highly debated topic. What follows is a whimsical look at some of the reasons that have been claimed will get your license to use a golden shovel revoked.
- You made multiple profiles and submitted irrelevant or spammy articles then Dugg them yourself.
I mean really, how stupid can you be? There’s nothing more dangerous than a savy “IT” person. - Your a MySpacer and figured if you added a ton of friends quickly to build up your profile the quicker you could begin spamming them.
It works for MySpace right? Digg is a social network right? And your really are that stupid aren’t you? - You posted something so controversial that Digg is forced to pull the article breaking every known commandment they’ve ever set, resulting in such backlash from the community that Digg actually takes itself down.
Can you say HD-DVD Key, just don’t say it too loud. - Have a popular site that generates a lot of generic Diggs.
It sucks to be popular don’t it? - You submitted a story then had a bunch of buddies at work all register and Digg the same story from behind the same firewall.
Hey look, it’s the “IT” guy from earlier. - Trying to Game Digg
Trust me, your not that smart. - Write something that bashes Digg
There’s no better way to show your disgust for being banned than calling out the people that banned you and taking them to the mat. What do you think this is a Democracy? - Submit something about SEO
Who the frak cares about SEO anyway, all you need is to get on Digg’s frontpage. - Keep submitting duplicate stories
I know, I know. If you keep doing it they’ll eventually tire of it an just Digg it to get you to go away. That’s pretty smart thinking. - Write a post about getting banned from Digg.
Supposedly, simply writing a post about getting banned from Digg will get you banned form Digg. Buh bye. - Digg too fast
Yes I know, your a speed reader and you have a 14.4GigaWatt internet connection in which you an read and Digg 17.347 unique pages a second. - Forget to pay your Digg dues.
Seriously! Didn’t you know the secret to getting on Diggs frontpage was a membership thing and as long as you paid your dues it was automatic. Geesh, and I thought you were internet savvy. - Submit something that’s worthwhile and actually is worthy of the Digg gods and have it make the frontpage.
That’s right. When you finally decide to go legit and you play by the rules and all that jazz, when the day comes that you’re finally able to sneak your own post in the mix or someone else does for you, your site gets taken offline for days. Welcome to Digg folks, enjoy the ride.
Again, just some Friday afternoon humor at the expense of the Digg gods. I can’t vouch for the authenticity of these reasons for getting banned from Digg, but if you choose to ignore them you might want to keep an eye on your jewels.
If you really want to make my weekend, help me get banned from Digg by pushing this to the frontpage. (We’ll call it testing #10).
Why Parents Are Driven To Drink
If your a parent then you can probably relate to this, if not, well, it’s funny anyway and probably explains why your parents tied you up when you were a kid.
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialled the employee?s home phone number and was greeted with a child?s whisper: ?Hello.?
?Is your daddy home?? he asked.
?Yes,? whispered the small voice.
?May I talk with him??
The child whispered, ?No.?
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, ?Is your mummy there??
?Yes.?
?May I talk with her??
Again, the small voice whispered, ?No.?
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, ?Is anybody else there??
?Yes,? whispered the child, ?a policeman!?
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee?s home, the boss asked, ?May I speak with the policeman??
?No, he?s busy?, whispered the child.
?Busy doing what??
?Talking to daddy and mummy and the fireman,? came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, ?What is that noise??
?A helicopter? answered the whispering voice.
?What is going on there?? demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, ?The search team just landed the helicopter.?
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, ?What are they searching for??
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: ?ME.?
15 Funny Church Signs You Don’t See Everyday
Some sent me a link to another site that had these rather humorous church signs posted. Check them out, anyone got anymore?
Proof Microsoft Knew The Zune Was A Piece Of Crap
Remember when we were kids and the big thing was playing rock music backwards to find the hidden Satanic messages. Well check this out, if you flip the Zune logo upside down it spells “anus”. Too funny. Guess now we know that Microsoft developers secretly thought it was a piece of crap.
10 Error Messages That Should Be In Windows
A friend send this to me and I thought I would share. Ever scratched your head over some of the error messages Windows displays when it has issues? Well here someone’s idea of what a few of them should say. I think I agree with most of them, except one should at least tell you to “Buy A Mac”. Check them out, anyone got any more interesting ones?
