All Posts Tagged With: "jokes"
Why We Have Blonde Jokes
I know, this is probably just photoshopped to make for a good joke, but it’s funny none-the-less.
Why Parents Are Driven To Drink
If your a parent then you can probably relate to this, if not, well, it’s funny anyway and probably explains why your parents tied you up when you were a kid.
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialled the employee?s home phone number and was greeted with a child?s whisper: ?Hello.?
?Is your daddy home?? he asked.
?Yes,? whispered the small voice.
?May I talk with him??
The child whispered, ?No.?
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, ?Is your mummy there??
?Yes.?
?May I talk with her??
Again, the small voice whispered, ?No.?
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, ?Is anybody else there??
?Yes,? whispered the child, ?a policeman!?
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee?s home, the boss asked, ?May I speak with the policeman??
?No, he?s busy?, whispered the child.
?Busy doing what??
?Talking to daddy and mummy and the fireman,? came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, ?What is that noise??
?A helicopter? answered the whispering voice.
?What is going on there?? demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, ?The search team just landed the helicopter.?
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, ?What are they searching for??
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: ?ME.?
Excuses For Missing School You Probably Don’t Want To Use
In honor of school starting back, here’s a few excuses I ran across that you probably don’t want to you this year. These are real notes that came from some school district in Tennessee as they were submitted. Anybody have any others?
1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh**s. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out] .
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being.It was his father’s fault.
15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don’t know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer fo! R missing school yesterday. We
forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won’t be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Ple ase excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
via Dysan.net
